Jason | "Time Never Returns"

October 14, 2025 - Departure

"At 1:30 in the afternoon, I received a message from Buer: 'This morning at 6:55, Sister Cat passed away.' She didn't suffer much. Her whole life, she lived according to her own will. After divorcing in her thirties, she came to Dali 14 years ago and opened a coffee shop and a guesthouse. She made friends and fell in love like a naive girl. She always kept the courtyard and the coffee shop exquisitely tidy, wore socks of strange colors, and had a heart for a beautiful life. Everyone has this day; some people have health shortcomings and leave earlier. The day after tomorrow, Tailor, Xiao Chun, Zhen Li, Hao, and A-Gua will go to Chengdu to bring her ashes back according to her last wishes, and send them to Jizu Mountain for burial. Master Rucheng will arrange to find a place to bury her in nature."

October 11, 2025 - Last Wish

"Today I contacted Tailor to set up a YouTube membership account for me. It was complicated, like Sino-US relations. In the middle of it, Tailor said Sister Cat sent a message saying she wasn't doing well, and entrusted him to take her ashes to Jizu Mountain after she died. So, like Free, find a tree in the forest and bury them there. Human life is both long and short, meaningless yet needing to find some meaning. Before leaving Dali for Shanghai in early September, I went to Chengdu to see her and stayed for a week. I thought if I didn't go, I probably wouldn't see her again. Xiao Jing went with me. When her physical condition was still okay, we chatted in her place or at the coffee shop downstairs, and even took a walk. At that time, because the tumor recurrence was pressing, she already had difficulty speaking, but sometimes she was in good spirits and could speak in a low voice, talking about daily life and gossip. But she always had a fever in the early morning and at night. She also knew time was limited, so she only rented the house by the month. Still, she went to the hospital for check-ups and didn't completely give up."

September 12, 2025 - A-Jin Told Her Stories

On the last two days we were in Chengdu, A-Jin came. But Sister Cat had a fever all the time and wasn't in good spirits, so they didn't meet for two days. Finally, on the way to the airport to leave, Sister Cat felt a bit better. A-Jin temporarily changed his ticket, returned from the airport to Sister Cat's place. Sister Cat lay on the sofa, and A-Jin read her the story he wrote, about his dreams. Sister Cat listened intently.

After listening, she asked me with a proud expression: "Isn't it romantic when someone reads you the story he wrote?"

Before this, I told Sister Cat that A-Jin felt guilty because he had written in an article 'this friend doesn't have many days left.' She said: "Oh, that night I immediately added him and told him it was okay, afraid he would be too sad." After A-Jin returned to Dali from Chengdu, he continued renovating. She knew A-Jin wasn't well-off financially, so she transferred him 1,500 yuan to buy tiles. A-Jin was very embarrassed and wanted to give cordyceps in return. I said no need to reciprocate, just accept it like that. Sister Cat was happy about it.

Over the years, she hasn't changed. She has always been a romantic person, also a warm person who thinks of others.

Doctor Wei

Doctor Wei is Wei Honglin, whom we all know. During those days in Chengdu, while chatting, for some reason—probably because Doctor Wei discussed her condition with her—Sister Cat said: "Do you know why I think Doctor Wei is a good person?"

"I didn't know him before. When I first came to Dali, a friend who ran a tea shop said he was an emergency room doctor at the prefecture hospital, and if I needed to see a doctor, I could go to him. I went and asked: 'Are you Dr. Wei Honglin?' He gave me a cold look and asked: 'What's the matter?' I thought this person was hard to get along with, and I really regretted coming to him."

"Later, I saw on his Moments that he was collecting donations for someone. Later I learned it was a patient of his, from a rural area, with no money. He said it was just a few thousand yuan; if not treated, he would die, but if treated, he could get better. It wasn't incurable. I thought this person is good, and mainly, it's rare that he's not a fresh graduate; after so many years as a doctor, he still has that kind of heart. Later we became good friends."

After Mao San (Cat Three) was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Doctor Wei called me once on video, walking all the time, giving his opinion and what he hoped I would do. I've forgotten. He also suggested that Mao San go to the United States for treatment, where medical care is better, and his family could take care of her.

Sister Cat sometimes resembles a neighborhood committee auntie. She knows many people and gets along well with them, probably mainly because she is enthusiastic and willing to consider others. On the other hand, obviously she also had her own standards for choosing friends.

April 2021

Although Sister Cat was a romantic, her love life was probably quite naive. She liked to gossip, so I'll share some of her gossip.

Five years ago, I went to Chengdu and stayed for a month to see her. She had just been diagnosed with cancer and immediately had surgery. Originally I didn't plan to go, but one day I casually asked about her condition. She was very down because her boyfriend had run away and disappeared without a trace. Unbelievable: poor health, romantic failure. I had to go support her, so I went to Chengdu to see her. Actually, the boyfriend was quite good; he went to the hospital before the surgery, and after the surgery he took care of her daily needs and gave her massages. She reflected on herself: in the hospital, she kept complaining that he didn't do this or that right, and after surgery, she complained that the food he cooked was not tasty. Also, because he wanted to help her financially, he went back to his hometown to get his share of money but faced family opposition. He felt useless, never came back, and disappeared.

I teased her that she was really bad at handling intimate relationships—treating someone who cared for her so well so harshly. But she was very tolerant with friends. For example, I cooked pork rib soup for her, but it was too oily. She had just had chemotherapy, and the smell made her nauseous. She didn't drink a drop, didn't complain at all, and even comforted me. I ate all the ribs myself.

In terms of love philosophy, she was also a very traditional person. Once or twice, she subtly hinted that my views on love might be a bit problematic. Of course, I didn't take her words seriously. Friends are probably like that: they don't have to agree on everything, but there must be a more fundamental level of trust.

2012 · The Beginning

I first got to know Mao San (Cat Three) because we both arrived in Dali around 2012. We were contemporaries. At that time, there were few non-locals in Dali, so most people easily got to know each other. She often came to the Late Night Kitchen (Shen Ye Shi Tang), and I occasionally went to her Mao San Coffee Shop. In that period, when most shops were rough, her small shop was fresh, tidy, spotless, with some beautiful decorations, and her kettle and things were expensive and artistic. Later, coffee sales decreased, but the wontons (chao shou) sold very well. She wasn't quick in her movements, not the typical brisk Sichuanese landlady. She wasn't short of money, so she never seemed to put much heart into the business.

Later she got sick, and the coffee shop moved. Many friends helped her, which was a return for her past care and the rapport they had.

While in Chengdu, the friends who took care of her daily life were her good friends Yan Yan, Xiao Xi, and her high school classmate Wang Linling.

Most of the past things, I can't remember the details; they were just everyday trivialities. Most people have no obvious traits, no great deeds. Most of the time, we didn't see each other much, just knew each other at first, occasionally crossed paths, knew each other existed, and together we've come through these more than ten years. When someone passes away forever, remembering that person is also remembering the time we experienced together, and even an era.

On August 16, 2024, Sister Cat wrote a message to Hong Hong, after she had read "The Ocean" (Wang Yang):

"Just finished reading the article, you were really beautiful back then. Every time I read Jason's writing, there's a touch of melancholy. Maybe he is recording; each piece I read gives me the feeling that time never returns, sadness."

Yes, time never returns, whether it's joy or sorrow.